"… changing for others isn’t such a big deal.”
There’s this girl that I’m really close with. But not close in sense that we had like a bunch of heart-to-heart conversations but I’ve just known her for 12 years so it’s the closeness that comes from that. But my thought isn’t with the amount of time I’ve known her but with her appearance. She is a beautiful girl. Like she makes people look twice with her looks, especially when she’s made-up and dressed. For the longest time she’s been like this and it wasn’t until recently that I noticed I didn’t really care for it. I mean I’m not gonna say she’s not pretty but I just see her and don’t care for it. It wasn’t until we were working out together that I actually had a moment where I found her more attractive than I’ve ever. She was sweaty and disheveled and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I could attribute this all to her looks but it was more. It was like I was looking into her spirit watching her struggle but push through the workout. I was enthralled by her iron will rather than her superficial appearance. It was interesting. It felt good to know I was looking past what was right in front of me and looking deeper at a person. I’m not saying I don’t do that often but you don’t usually notice yourself doing it like I did. Well this quick thought turned into a bigger one. I gotta get some sleep. Goodnight!
"I hope he’s a garbage man. My Mom used to tell me "be a garbage man and be the best garbage man anybody works with, I don’t give a shit what you do", because who are we kidding? Everybody’s been doing remarkable things for six thousand years and where’s it gotten them? Who gives a fuck? Just have a good life"
"that was like, inspiring and cynical at the same time"
Every couple of episodes of Harmontown you get something you just need to write down.
I think more people should read some of the things Dan Harmon says or find some of the podcast and give them a listen. In between his many drunk ramblings are little pieces of gold just like this one.
So I wanted to make today’s post about money. Everything that seems to come with it and the power, I feel and I’m pretty sure other people feel, it has. I don’t understand it sometimes. I mean, I think I do. Having money is great. Having lots of it seems to be better but having none or very little is damn right depressing. I know there are others out there who have much, much less than me and on top of that have kids they need to take care of but dammit why does the stem of the issue have to be money.
I think if we all just stopped putting so much into the idea of getting money that we might all be a little better off. I know that’s a pipe dream though. That will never happen. I just wish it could.
I feel imprisoned by this piece of paper we give value to. I can’t do anything without it. It controls the decisions I make throughout my day and my upcoming future. At this very moment it’s what is driving me to finish college. The amount of money you can earn is higher with a college degree. Sure, but there’s a shit ton of money you have to pay just to get that piece of paper that says: ” this guy right here, he can do the job he wants to do cause we tested him for four years and he’s passed”. I don’t know. Sometimes I just want to leave it all. Not leave it all but just try and find a simpler life out there. Where people are just happy doing things and not upset that they can’t earn more money. Or where people that actually want to work and need to can just find somewhere to do it. I think this rant is over. All these ideas I’m spewing aren’t very well thought out and organized.
In other news, a girl I went to high school with got I contact with me. She was pretty cool at first but I think I need to give her some space I guess. I’m not really sure. At first she was super gun ho about texting and talking to me. Then, nothing. Her answers are short and concise. Like she disinterested. Perhaps I’m looking to deep into the text message but it’s definitely a change in tone. I wish this was easier. I’m not interested in making anything more of this relationship but I also don’t wanna smother the girl with attention. She might think I’m annoying or something. Well another small rant with undefined thoughts and overall pretty much everywhere. This summer may be my toughest summer to date. There are a lot of obstacles I have to conquer and I’m hoping I have the will to take them down as best I can. But what if I don’t? Failure is an option at all times. I guess we’ll just have to find out. That’s it for tonight.